In the age of social media, the “comparison trap” is more prevalent than ever. We constantly measure our “behind-the-scenes” against everyone else’s “highlight reel.” This cycle leads to anxiety, low self-esteem, and a lack of fulfillment. However, Emily-Anne Rigal, the founder of WeStopHate and author of FLAWD, offers a refreshing perspective on how to embrace our imperfections and stop the toxic habit of comparison.
1. Understanding the “FLAWD” Philosophy
Emily-Anne Rigal’s core message is centered around the idea that being “flawed” is not a deficit—it is a human bridge. In her book FLAWD, she argues that our perceived weaknesses are often the very things that make us relatable and unique.
The Shift from Perfection to Authenticity
To stop comparing yourself, you must first acknowledge that perfection is a myth. Rigal teaches that when we try to be perfect, we distance ourselves from others. When we embrace being “flawed,” we find true connection.
Actionable Tip: Write down three things you usually try to hide about yourself. Acknowledge them as part of your unique “brand” rather than mistakes to be fixed.
2. Celebrate Your “Flawsome” Self
Rigal coined the term “Flawsome”—the idea that you are awesome because of your flaws, not in spite of them. Comparison usually happens when we look at someone else’s strengths and compare them to our weaknesses.
Reverse the Lens
Instead of looking outward at what you lack, look inward at what you offer.
Practice Self-Compassion: Treat yourself with the same kindness you would offer a friend. Rigal suggests that self-hate is often a learned behavior that can be unlearned through consistent positive self-talk.
3. Curate Your Digital Environment
If your social media feed makes you feel “less than,” it is time for a digital detox. Emily-Anne Rigal’s work with WeStopHate emphasizes that the media we consume heavily dictates our self-perception.
Unfollow for Mental Health: Unfollow accounts that trigger feelings of inadequacy.
Follow Inspiration, Not Comparison: Replace those accounts with creators who promote body positivity, mental health awareness, and authentic living.
4. Focus on Contribution Over Competition
One of the most transformative lessons from Rigal is moving from a mindset of competition to one of contribution. When you are busy contributing your unique talents to the world, you have less time to worry about how you stack up against others.
Find Your Mission
Rigal’s mission was to stop bullying by helping people love themselves. When you find a “why” that is bigger than your ego, your insecurities begin to shrink.
Ask Yourself: “How can I help someone today using my specific skills?” This shifts the focus from Self to Service.
5. The Power of “Compare and Despair” Awareness
Awareness is half the battle. Rigal encourages individuals to catch themselves in the moment of comparison. Mental health experts often call this “Compare and Despair.”
The “Stop” Technique: When you find yourself scrolling and feeling a pang of jealousy, physically say the word “Stop.”
Reframing: Instead of “I wish I had her life,” try “I am happy for her success, and I am currently building my own.”
6. Practicing Radical Self-Acceptance
Self-acceptance isn’t about liking every single part of yourself every day; it’s about stopping the war against yourself. Emily-Anne Rigal emphasizes that you cannot hate yourself into a version of yourself that you love.
Daily Affirmations from a Place of Truth
Avoid generic affirmations that feel like lies. Use “Bridge Affirmations” instead:
Instead of: “I am the most confident person in the world.”
Try: “I am learning to be more comfortable in my skin every day.”
Conclusion: Your Journey is Your Own
Stopping the comparison game is not an overnight fix. It is a daily practice of returning to yourself. By adopting Emily-Anne Rigal’s philosophy, you recognize that your flaws are not barriers to happiness—they are the foundation of your authenticity.
Remember, the only person you should try to be better than is the person you were yesterday. Embrace your flawsome self and start living a life defined by your own values, not someone else’s Instagram feed.